The performance is over – reflecting on the process that got me to where I am today. My own private iceberg, “The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one-eighth of it being above water”. Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon. (Hemingway in Bruno & Dixon 2015, 37) When I first read this statement I had no definitive answer to what it meant. I do now! Having been through a long process of study, research, writing, planning, staging, practice, reflection, improvement, more practice and a considerable amount of adjustment. I found I was quite good at drifting, keeping on the straight and narrow wasn’t easy, self-discipline is not a strong point, however, I have learnt that this was a situation where I had to be and I am far better at self-discipline now! “Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.” – Clint Eastwood (Addicted to Success 2015)
I knew what I wanted in my mind, I had created a story, but putting the script together took time I thought about characters I knew mostly through television, I described my character to people and asked them whom it resembled, this gave me an insight on who to research. I really enjoyed the research, looking at clips, reading passages. I created my vision and went through the performance in my head, daydreaming being watched by 1,000s in a huge auditorium. But then back to reality, probably ten in the audience (it was actually but it was still really important to me to be as good as I could make it.
I followed the instructions and drew my iceberg 1/8th above the waterline and 7/8ths below:-
The Peak
Final performance 24/5/2017 
Tech rehearsal, check lighting, sound, props, costume, preparation for performance
Second Floor
Practice, self-evaluation, feedback from tutors and peers, workshops, adaptation to create final work
First Floor
Research – script, character, costume,
surroundings, scene set, lighting, sound
and proxemics, blocking.
Ground Floor Generating my performance
(2015, 37)
Practicing on my own was ok, but I couldn’t give myself feedback, so I tried my script out on a few friends, some liked it, one of the girls found it sexist (which I agreed with), most found it comical, however, one said it was poignant? Why I asked? Because it depicts a male role model who transforms through the performance a bit like a Neanderthal. I hadn’t looked at it quite that deeply! But he was right, but there is a lot of dare I say “North” in my process, the saying is you can take the lad out of the North but you can’t take the Northern out of the lad” however, being born in London there is an element of Southern refinement too.
The focus of my story was about a personal situation that evoked a change in perceptions, an awakening of new senses and his reaction to them, the jovial attitude, followed by a sense of fear of not knowing, then the relief of having passed that phase. The final part the recognition and the changes in his tone and attitude towards the situation and his idea of the female roles in his life.
My Man – Dad of four children soon to be five. Working class has old fashioned ideas, copied from dad, passed down from granddad.
Believes in old traditional values, football fan likes to spend Saturday at the game.
Married about 12 years, faithful enjoys married life. Wife who stays at home takes care of the household and children. Loves the kids, but not keen on the birth part. Change in views for last child (not intending on having any more) playing a more active part, being present at the birth changes his views on being a “new man”!
I kept telling my story over and over to myself, every time I did this it brought new ideas to my plan like colouring in a picture until there weren’t any white bits, then going over some of the colours to make them different shades.
I set out my performance showed it to a few people and got feedback from tutors and suggestions on adjustments then when I was satisfied, I practiced until it was right.
Tech rehearsal – Managed to get everything sorted, lights, sound, layout of set for performance, props, costume – everything in place – didn’t do a run through as I wanted my performance to be seen as a first time on the day.
Performance – Chapter, line and verse!
I was prepared, the set worked out well, costume on and props ready. Time to meet my audience, I was a little nervous but in a good way, I was actually looking forward to it.
It was over too soon, I felt like I wanted to do it again, I was happy with the final performance, it flowed nicely and I got a good response from the audience, they laughed at the quips and the dialogued and it was received well at the end.
The whole solo performance journey has been a good learning experience, I have looked at myself inside and out, seen where I needed to improve and actually put that learning into practice. This module really made me think about processing an idea, bringing it to fruition and being satisfied with what I had created. Would I do it again? Yes most definitely.
Works Cited :
Brown J (2015 ) Addicted to success Accessed April 2017 Available from: www.addicted2success.com
Bruno S & Dixon L (2015) Creating Solo Performance Routledge